Valentines thoughts........

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

Hands up if you really love Valentines day??? Hmmm I'm not sure I'm a huge fan of  just ONE day when we are encouraged to show our love for our partners.. it should be everyday!

I was contacted a couple of weeks ago by Pebble Grey. They asked if they could send me a lovely mirror and incorporate it into a blog post.

I thought why not make it into a post about something  I'm working on at the moment myself- how to be happier and love yourself a little bit more!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not here to preach, there are days where I speak to myself horrendously and really put myself down, whether it be my appearance,my career,my surroundings or even the way I am as an individual.

I've slowly but surely been learning ways to put a stop to the kicking I give myself on a daily basis and wanted to share some ideas with you all!

Some of the techniques I've picked up recently through reading some really good books and talking to some pretty inspirational people I work with.

So here are my top tips for being happier and loving yourself a bit more every day-

1. Self-talk

Who talks to themselves???.........I do for sure.. probably every other second of the day. I find myself basically talking to myself like shit alot of the time. For example:

"You look fat in that Holly"
"You aren't as successful as you should be"
"You should be better at that"

Next time you are doing it ask yourself "Would I talk to anyone else like that?" if the answer is no then why are you letting yourself do it to the most important person in your life... you?!

2. Think about the good things
I got caught in the trap of always dwelling on the negative things that happened each day, whether it be at work or at home.  More recently I've been trying to reflect and take more notice of the positives- whether it be that you made someone smile or you even just managed to get through a really tough day without sobbing! Write down the positive achievements of each day and pop them in a jar- after a month have a look through.. it'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy I promise!

3. Stop comparing yourself to others
In today's world we are all constantly reminded through social media and such likes of the things we aren't.
Take a step back now and again and remind yourself how hard you've worked to be who you are! This is a hard one but I've slowly come to realise that especially via social media, blogs and Youtube that people only show you what they want you to see... no-one (well very few) air their dirty laundry in public and just remember we all have bad days,we all cry occasionally and most of us all have the odd row with parents,partners and friends- noone is perfect and you should be happy being you!

4.Forgive yourself for the past mistakes you've made
Most of us, including me have made terrible choices throughout our lives but dwelling on those past choices wont change the future! Just accept things and try to learn from your mistakes...It might even help to write some of your mistakes down then make a note of how you've learnt from that experience.

5. Read something 
Sometimes the daily grind can wear you down and make you feel uninspired- I find the best way to cheer myself up is to read something that either helps take my mind of my worries or encourages my mind to go off on tangents of creativeness/the unknown! I find that having a kindle helps with this- it means I can have numerous different types of books that I can read to fit my mood.

Books I've been reading recently-

The Girl on the Train- Paula Hawkins
Do no harm; stories of life,death and brain surgery- Henry Marsh
Sort your brain out- Jack Lewis & Adrian Webster
Into the darkest corner- Elizabeth Haynes
Dark places- Gillian Flynn

6. Use positive affirmations

You are what you think! Affirmations are proven methods of self-improvement because of their ability to 'rewire' our brains!

 Affirmative reminders are positive,present tense phrases that you say to yourself to 'trick' your mind into thinking they are true- stick with me on this one!

So for example- my affirmative reminder is " I am a successful blogger, I inspire people through my writing and it makes me feel great"
Affirmative reminders must have a sense of something already being true and make you feel all warm and nice- even if they aren't true at that present time they bring on the feeling how it would feel if it were true and help you work towards your goals! Think of it like this-

Words that trigger >pictures that bring on>emotions

They key to using positive affirmations is to repeat them to yourself regularly- I repeat mine (one of them being the one I mentioned above plus a whole load more!) when I'm getting ready in the morning and then as I'm settling down for bed.

7. Try not to worry about things that haven't happened

I'm sure many of you can relate to this one! I've been known by my partner and family as 'the worrier' for years... if its worrying about money,worrying about a presentation at work,worrying about what people think of me.. I could go on and on.

Sometimes these thoughts of mine can spiral out of control and take over from any 'normal' thoughts of the day. Although I don't have this one completely nailed yet I've taken a few small steps to help put a stop to the worry-

-Think about what's the worst that could happen? Take a step back and rationalise your thoughts- or as my mother says frequently "Holly, you've got a roof over your head, you've got food to eat and water to drink, pull yourself together!"
-Talk about your worries with someone- it can help to alleviate them.Sometimes we get stuck in cycles of unnecessary thought patterns and just talking through them with someone feels like a HUGE relief. 
-Remember that you are capable of anything you put your mind to- its only you who puts up barriers to stop yourself from achieving what you want!

There are tons of books/videos/articles out there that give more tips on this kind of stuff... I just wanted to share my fav tips that help me on a day to day basis!

Thoroughly enjoyed writing this post- must remember to sometimes steer off the path of product reviews and occasionally share my rambles with you all!

Have you got any tips for refocusing and giving yourself a pat on the back now and again?



  1. Love this Holly, I have come to the conclusion that unless whatever is worrying you is life threatening it is not that important

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